my past doesn't define me; He does | a reflection

"Without Jesus, my story is just another sad story about how a college girl became a statistic, but with Jesus, my story is about strength and love, and there is a happy ending."

Anyone who has heard me give my testimony in the past 6 or so months has probably heard me end it with something resembling the above statement.  That statement is the very embodiment of what I hope live out today and every day for the rest of my life.

Today I celebrate one year of growth, one year of love, one year of redemption. One year ago today something meaningful was taken from me, but through my journey, I found the one thing I was always missing: a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ.  I know a lot of you who are reading this know my story, and an even bigger number of you don't, but I want to emphasize that that isn't the point of why I'm writing this post.  I'm writing this because I am in awe of a gracious and merciful God who has, in the course of 365 days, taken me from my lowest point to a place where I am excited to wake up every day. If you would have told me last year that I am now openly sharing my story for the glorification of Jesus and am actually living a life that I love, I doubt my reaction would have been very pretty.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
James 1:2-4

One year ago, I was broken, hurt, lonely, and believed that I had no worth.  I felt guilty, dirty, and thought that I deserved whatever happened to me. Being at that low spot allowed me to experience the full love of Christ, because he met me where I was. I didn't have to do anything to earn it, because he died on that cross for me.  He picked me up, brushed me off, and let me lean on him. I will never be okay with what happened to me, but because of that one event, I had to find Jesus. Because of that one event, I am a better daughter, sister, friend, leader, and someday I will be a better mom and wife. I have a renewed love for missions, because I love telling people about what Jesus did for me.  I am excited where my adventure will lead, because I have Jesus as a light to my path.

I would like to address the fact that it was very hard to get here, and I still struggle every day.  I mourned and grieved the loss of something I held very dear to my heart.  I sobbed when I thought of future relationships, and how this one event would define my life.  I sabotaged relationships, harbored resentment, and justified acting out. I was rightfully hurt, but that was no excuse for putting my well being on the back burner and ignoring every other thing, healthy or unhealthy in my life.  I sent myself into a spiraling season of depression and self loathing, even convincing myself that it was my fault. I was convinced that I couldn't tell anyone, and those who I told knew twisted versions of the story.  I lived my life in isolation, turning my social butterfly heart into a penitentiary and my optimistic personality into a sad excuse for a happy face. I believed the devastating lie that I was in this alone, and that I sure as heck couldn't bring God into it.  I was determined to handle it all alone by becoming a girl who I thought I had to be. (Spoiler alert: not a good plan.) By the time second semester had started, I had become severely depressed, anxious, and suicidal, spending most days of the week in my bed. I became quite the actor, deceiving anyone who showed concern and making them believe that I was okay. I suffered the wrath of my own will and actions, and got to the lowest low possible.I couldn't handle it alone anymore, and that still small voice that I tried to silence for months finally pushed into my thoughts. "You are not alone. You are loved. You are beautiful and valued and not broken". I let my heart out of solitary confinement.  Slowly, then all at once, I was happy again.  I had friends.  I had things to look forward to. I saw a purpose for my life. I saw the woman that God sees when he looks at me, and stopped trying so desperately to be the girl I was convinced I wanted to be.

If you're reading this and you are in that low spot, broken place, or lonely cage, please know that you are not alone. No one is alone, and don't let the enemy tell you that you are the exception.  Talk to someone, don't let him have power in your silence.  Get out there and do something that makes you happy, don't let him have power in your isolation. Lay your hurts and sorrows down at the cross, don't let him have power in your separation from Jesus. It's hard, and painful, but its so worth it. Never forget that God sent his son down to Earth to suffer and die for this, for you. The devil will relentlessly try to downplay the significance of that beautiful sacrifice. Do not let him. Hold on to the truths that Jesus has to offer, and never ever let go.

1 Timothy 1:7 promises that we do not have to be fearful, because we are powerful.
Philippians 2:15 promises we shine like stars in the sky.
Hebrews 13:5 promises that we are never alone.
John 15:15 promises that we are not servants, but free.
Ephesians 2:10 promises that we are God's perfect creation, created to do beautiful things.
1 Peter 2:9 promises that we are his chosen people, his royal heirs.
2 Corinthians 5:17 promises that, in Christ, we are new creations.

God will never put any trial or struggle in our path that we cannot endure with him. Fact. We will all go through our own hard times. Fact. We will never truly understand what God is doing in someone else's life, but we can be there for them in their time of need. Fact.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have stood by me during this season of my life. Whether you know it or not, you have all helped me on the path to where I am now and where I'm going. Thank you for encouraging me to keep on fighting the good fight, and pointing every sign along the way back to Jesus.  I am so happy to say that I am standing strong, ready for my future and whatever it holds.

If you are reading this and don't see a point to keep fighting, you don't believe that religion can help, or that you're too far gone for Jesus, I want to encourage you that he wants nothing more than to be your friend in all of this, and I want to challenge you to call out to him and let him comfort you. Let him walk with you in the good times and the bad.  He is the only friend who will never leave you, who will always listen, and who will understand everything you will ever go through.

"For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies."
2 Corinthians 4:5-10

I want to thank you all who are reading this for being a part of my journey.  I pray that my words may encourage you, no matter what kind of trials you will go through. If you want to talk more about this, or hear my testimony, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'd love to chat!

Here's to years and years of more healing and growth, and an eternity more with my heavenly Father.

-SB

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:4-7

the blind leading the blind | a social media field guide

Hello beautiful people!

This week, I had the amazing, wonderful, marvelous opportunity to lead a breakout session at my Cru's Womens' Time, along with my dear co lead Erin, about how Media Impacts our Idea of Value as a Christian Woman. I know what you're thinking: "Wow! What a perfect topic for my favorite person, SB, to talk about!" Thanks, blog reader! I agree.

I am so passionate about this topic.  It's to timely, and it hits close to home, as I am a communications major and will be working closely with all kinds of media for the rest of my life.  Just like anything else in this life, navigating media is hard (because why would anything be easy?) It's a platform for all the broken people of the world to compete to see who can pretend to be the least broken.  It's a platform that is home to both lost college students and pre- pubescent children and middle aged professionals and everyone in between , and no one is holding anything back.  Does anyone see something wrong with this? Okay good, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Jesus says that we are perfect in his sight, fearfully and wonderfully made, strong, dignified, his daughters and sons, and that with him, we cannot fail. These are all promises given to us in the bible, yet we so often deny the accuracy of his words. We'd rather hold onto the lies given to us by the King of Deceit, Satan himself. HE is the one telling us that we will never get the guy if we don't post a perfect bikini pic. HE is the one telling us that we will never be as successful as the person who is always posting about their amazing grades and academic achievements. HE is the one telling us that we will never be pretty enough, clever enough, funny enough. I have fallen victim to the lies of the devil so many times, trust me, and I am here to tell you that the war against him has been won, and we are no longer slaves to his lies.

Having social media isn’t a sin or bad, but we can use it wrong when we have motives that are impure behind it. Satan will do everything and anything to divide us with God, and social media is no exception.  Don’t play the fool and allow it to be a distraction or a heart struggle; give it to God and let him use it for his glory.

So what now? Social media isn't going anywhere, and I for sure am not trying to tell you to avoid it (because then I'd be out of a future career). God has blessed us with free will, but we also live in a broken world, and nothing is gonna be perfect. So, I'd like to share with you some of my very own tips and tricks for navigating social media as a young, valued, beautiful, daughter of Christ. (Special super amazing shoutout to my co lead, Erin Mackenstein, for helping me lead this talk and contributing #6!)

SB's SOCIAL MEDIA FIELD GUIDE FOR SUPER AMAZING, FUNKY FRESH BIBLICAL CHICAS

• Never do something on Social Media that you wouldn’t do in person.  
• This includes what you wear, the conversations you have, even the gossipping of another person to your best friend.  Those things may seem appealing, but they are doing nothing but damaging your relationship with Jesus.  We don’t need fancy clothes, contouring makeup, or duck faces to be accepted by him, and if he is all we need, why would we try to impress others that way? Surround yourself with people who find your passion for Jesus attractive and enticing.
• Command and teach these things.  Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.  Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching.” -1 Timothy 4:11-13
• Don’t mistake a boy sending you a DM or liking your selfie for a man actively pursuing you.
• You are worth so much more than just a few taps behind a iPhone screen.  Hold out for a man who is willing to ask you out on a REAL date.  If you don’t think that boy is praying for you, or if you don’t think he would ask your father for his blessing, drop him.  Those practices might seem a little extreme for today’s dating climate, but trust us, you’ll thank us later.  Jesus doesn’t need to see your flawless selfies or Instagram posts to love you, so you shouldn’t pine after people who do.
• “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” - 1 Corinthians 13:14-17
• Don’t be afraid to just unplug.
• The beauty of social media and cell phones is that they come with an off button.  Being the first like on your bestie’s Insta post or keeping your Snapchat streaks alive aren’t (and will never be) more important than your mental health and your relationship with Jesus. Ask yourself questions like: “am I walking by the spirit?”, “am I bragging?”, “am I battling envy and discontent?”, and “is this the best and most glorifying use of my time?”.  If you feel drained after a few minutes on Facebook, lonely after #NationalBoyfriendDay on Instagram, or forgotten after seeing all your friends hitting up G Hill on a Saturday night, spend some time with Jesus.  Crack open your bible and soak up the truths he has to offer.
• “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.” -Matthew 6:1

• Don’t let Social Media replace community in your life!
• As Christians, community is one of the biggest gifts and assets we have been given by God.  We are social creatures, we are not meant to live in isolation.  Don’t let Satan sell you the lie that an online relationship will be as fulfilling as a real one.  We need to be real with each other, laugh together, cry together, live together, and that is something that Facebook will never be able to offer. “
• “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” -Hebrews 10:24-25
• Use it to be a light!
• We are living in a day and age where something’s worth is based on a number of tags, likes, and retweets.  While that is wildly corrupt, we have to get out there and be warriors for Jesus.  As Christians, people will always come after what we believe and try to tear us down. What you do on social media isn’t a reflection of anyone else’s character but your own.  If you spend time being bitter because of something you see, it will do nothing but hurt your own spirit. Use your platform to shine your light.  Something you post one second can be seen by someone in Japan in seconds.  It may be intimidating, but we cannot forget that we cannot fail with Jesus by our side.  Wear your faith on your sleeve, build each other up, and be unashamed of what Jesus has done in your life.  You never know who will see it, or how God will use it in someone else’s life.
• “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” -Matthew 5:14-16
• Comparison is the Thief of Joy
• No matter how put together someone may present themselves online, no one is perfect and has it all together. Be mindful of your thoughts when scrolling through your newsfeed, it’s easy to see a well filtered post and compare your life to someone else's. This may begin a spiral of self doubt and pity.  Everyone is on a different journey, comparison will drain your joy and peace of mind. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.  It is none of our business what God is doing in someone else’s life. You have been equipped with the power to say no to comparison, God has given you a sound mind, so walk in it.
• “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” -2 Timothy 1:7

Onward and Upward!

Hi friends! Its been a hot sec since the last time I posted; these weeks in Hampton Beach have flown by so quickly.

It's been a hot couple of days lately here in New Hampshire.  I'm grateful for the beach!

Since I last posted I have been employed, was appointed to my servant team, attended my first Sunday morning service at the church I was assigned to, went to Boston twice, and spent a day in Maine with my church host family! On top of all that, I have been spending so much quality time with my team.  Its getting to the point where I feel like I have deep relationships with most people here, and its literally been only 14 days! God is good, and its clear that this team was handpicked to be here together this summer.  We may be a small bunch (18 students compared to 30 in previous years) but we are already taking steps to leave our mark on Hampton Beach this summer and let the Lord work through us!

My job is awesome! I get to work right on the boardwalk, with an amazing view of people creating their submissions for the Sand Castle Contest this week! I go in early to mop and do prep work, and then spend my shift working the counter and interacting with customers.  Its a small staff, but my co workers are all so great.  My commute down the boardwalk is also a highlight.  I am so content with this job, and I am so grateful for the Lord's faithfulness in leading me to a job that makes me happy and is also logistically sound.

My weeks can get pretty busy. I work 10-4 every day except Sunday and Monday.  Every day after work (with the exception of Saturday; my free night off) we do a group event, such as Women's Time, hosting a Community Dinner (an opportunity to open up our house and mission to our co workers and the people of Hampton Beach), a night dedicated to quiet time with the Lord, or evangelism on the beach.  Sundays and Mondays are just as hectic between church, Host Family Time, and Ministry Partner Development (fund raising!) on Sundays and prayer meetings, cleaning time, servant team meetings, bible study time, one on one discipleship, and our weekly meeting.  It's a crazy life, but I love every second.  I am learning so much, loving so much, growing so much. I'm grateful for this opportunity!

I mentioned servant teams a few times now, so allow me to elaborate.  The students here are split up among the five servant teams in groups of 3 or 4. The five teams are: Weekly Meeting Team (in charge of the Weekly Meeting, consisting of group worship, arranging a speaker, conducting mission wide announcements, etc), Prayer Team (in charge of promoting prayer and conducting the weekly prayer meeting), Community Dinner Team (in charge of planning and executing the community dinners and encouraging us to invite people we meet and work and on the beach to hang out with us at 20 G), Outreach Team (in charge of encouraging and equipping us to go conduct outreach in the community, as well as leading evangelizing on the beach), and Operations Team.  I was one of the three students to serve on the Operations Team.  Our job is to be keepers of the house, as well as running Sunday night Ministry Partner Development time.  I have a key to the house, have to make sure the trash goes out, etc. but there are also fun parts to my job! I get to encourage and walk alongside of people as they continue to raise funds, I get to promote cleaning the house (we award a golden plunger trophy to the cleanest guys' and girls' bedrooms every week!), and I get to work closely with the finances of the mission. I strongly feel as though Ops Team was the best placement for me.

One of the main things that is being taught to me is effective ways to evangelize.  We use tools such as Perspective Cards and the Soularium Photo survey to initiate natural conversation, then use tools such as our Testimony and the Knowing God Personally booklet to lead the conversation (if it allows) into a Gospel Conversation! We are spending a lot of time memorizing the key points of the KGP Booklet and refining our 3-5 minute testimonies (which I will soon present at a weekly meeting!) to make evangelical conversations more natural.  We take strides to be personable and not 'creepy' missionaries.  We want to have real conversations with real people, and have the Lord lead the topic where he may.

This past week I got to meet my Host Family, the McLaughlins! I was assigned by the mission to be a member of Hampton Falls Baptist Church (one of the two churches we have partnerships with), and through that congregation I was paired with a family who wishes to love me and encourage me.  Although I don't literally live with them, I get to essentially become a part of their family.  I share my host family with another girl here, Ashley, and we get to spend every other Sunday afternoon with them.  This past week, we spent the day with Drew and Caleb and their host family in York, Maine.  It was great to get to know the two families as well as spend quality time with Drew, Caleb, and Ashley! (Also, Drew, Caleb, and I got to jump off a bridge, so there's that) I am eager to see this element of my trip grow and evolve!

I love my team. I love my team. I love my team.  I love Michael's eagerness to learn and willingness to ask lots of questions.  I love Matt's enthusiasm for everything from his friends to baseball.  I love Yeon's wisdom and how he's always there when I need a good hug.  I love Kristian's subtle (yet effective) leadership skills and his ability to captivate a whole room with his charisma.  I love Ashley and her content in everything she does, as well as her laugh and how easy it is to feed off of her joy.  I love Drew's sarcasm and silly dancing, in addition to his caring spirit and his capacity to love me as if I really was his family.  I love Olivia's silliness in all she does, and her ability to have a group crying with laughter with one sentence.  I love Sarah's ability to lead as well as be led, and the way she is able to see the dynamics of everyone around her.  I love Isabell's servant's heart, and her never ending flow of affirmation for everyone around her.  I love Shane's talent and passion for music, as well as his deep desire to care for the whole team.  I love Julie and her presence when she walks into a room, as well as her wisdom and patience.  I love Emely and her desire to draw ever closer to the father, as well as her desire to grow her friendship with me.  I love Josh and his kind heart, his desire to get to the bottom of deep theological questions, and his willingness to lead and be protective of everyone here. I love Viv and her deep love for the Lord, as well as her companionship that she has extended to me since day one.  I love Sarah her loyal nature, her fun facts, and her compassionate heart.

Also, tonight was one of my closest friend from the mission's birthday  Honestly, getting to plan a surprise for him and work together with everyone else to make it special was such a highlight of the trip.  We are functioning as a family, and it's everything I ever wanted. I'm so in awe that I was called here among some of the best people I have ever met.

Something that has been on my heart lately is the concept of hope.  Hope that, even though I see hurt and stress all around me and in many things I do, God has a plan for me.  Jeremiah 29:11 and Hebrews 6:19 have been so good lately, y'all.
I stress that my relationship with the Lord isn't good enough, that my past dictates my future. He gives me hope that I will be growing in my faith until the day I'm called home, and that he died on the cross that my past may be forgiven.
I worry that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, special enough to find the husband I want; I worry that I will be single forever or will have to settle.  He gives me the hope that my future is in his hands, and it is good. He will lead a man into my life who is God- fearing and notices me for more than what I look like. On top of that, I was made by the creator of the heavens and earth, in his own image. Who am I to say that I'm flawed?
I worry that I am not a good enough student and I have no future ahead of me.  That my worth lies in my GPA and don't deserve an ounce of respect or success.  He gives me hope that although I am weak, he is strong and wants to walk beside me.  He has led me to exactly where he wants me (he's been very clear about that) and that as long as I keep my eyes on him, I will do great things for his kingdom.
I worry that I will not be a good enough mom someday, or that I will never even get the opportunity to have a family and children of my own. He gives me hope in the affirming words of my friends as well as in the love he instilled in me for children.

Joseph held on to the Lord's promises, despite being sold into slavery by his own brothers, and he was given one of the highest political positions at the time.  Moses held on to the Lord's promises, and after centuries of enslavement, God used him to lead his people out of Egypt.  Esther held onto the Lord's promises, and even though what he called her to do was seemingly impossible and deadly, God used her to save the Jewish race.

I've been through a lot of hurt, a lot of doubt, a lot of hard times, but with this hope as an anchor for my soul, I am strong. I will do great things. I am justified and forgiven. I will be loved by my husband, my children, my friends, because God loved me first.

God is so good. He is love. He calls me to be Christ like, and I stumble and fall short. We can work ourselves to exhaustion to be perfect, but we will never be worthy. I don't deserve his grace, but that's the whole point. Salvation is a gift. Absolutely free, no fine print or strings attached. All we have to do is believe in him. I don't know about you, but that's the best deal I have ever heard of.

Thanks for keeping up with everything I've been up to! I humbly ask that you keep me and my team in your prayers as we continue to try to reach the lost here in New England! Also, keep my team in your prayers as we work to raise funds for the trip.

Please please consider sending me mail! As someone who's Love Language is equally words of affirmation and gifts, a simple letter in the mail could be so encouraging!

Love you all,
-SB

Getting My Feet Wet

Hello friends! 

I’m happy to say that the 2017 Hampton Beach Summer Mission is officially underway, and I’m so grateful and excited.  I’ll share a little secret with all you blog post readers: I was super scared leading up to the trip about what to expect.  I mean, I like to believe that’s the acceptable norm for anyone diving head first something that is totally in uncharted territory (like this was for me).  All I had was the hope that God had led me here, with this exact group of people, in this exact beach town, in this exact year, for his glory. I had the hope that he led me here to thrive and prosper, and his plans for me are not to discourage me or hurt me.  My whole life will be altered by what goes on in this town for the next 68 days, all because God was working in hearts across the country months, even years, ago.   That is so cool guys! (Spoilers: God is really cool.)  As one of my buddies back home said on Monday, the complete strangers I met these past few days will likely be some of the most influential people that will ever be part of my life, all because I had hope and took a leap of faith to fill out this mission’s application.

I keep praying for God to open my eyes to the reason I was called here this summer.  As some of you know, Hampton Beach was not my first choice for my summer mission.  CRU offers dozens of domestic and abroad summer missions to its’ students, and frankly Hampton Beach didn’t ‘strike my fancy’ when I first checked it out.  On top of that, not a whole bunch of people go on summer mission the summer after their freshman year.  I am the youngest person on this mission; everyone else is at least 19 already and only 3 other students are in my grade.  But by speaking to me through my friends, immense softening of my stubborn heart, and opening my eyes to what he has in store for me, not what I want for myself, I finally summited to God’s will, and I couldn’t be more grateful.  Whatever the reason is for bringing me here, whether he tells me today, next month, next year, or even if I never understand how me used me in someone else’s life, I’m humbled by the fact that he called ME here.

I encourage you to keep up with this blog for the next 10 weeks as I grow and learn among students from all over the country.  If you haven’t already, I also ask that you consider supporting me prayerfully and financially as I go through this time.  More than anything, I ask you pray for a softening of my heart and a quieting of my mind as I reach for that deeper still relationship with Christ. 

If you’re interested in sending me physical mail (appreciated!), the address of my home is below.  From what I’ve already experienced, I haven’t necessarily had much time on my phone, so that might be the way to go. Also, for those of you who know me, you are aware of how much I cherish a good, old fashioned letter 😉.

SB Scott

CRU

20 G Street

Hampton Beach, NH 03842

As far as logistical updates, I am happy to announce that as of this morning, I am employed as the counter girl at a boardwalk food stop called Stats.  Everyone else on the mission (yes, really) have jobs in the nearby town at Dunkin Donuts and McDonalds, so I’m excited for this opportunity to personally grow through my experiences on the boardwalk.  It’s a little weird to be the only one on the beach, but  the view of the beach (which is only a few yards away from my post) is pretty amazing, and I will get to sleep in a little bit since the store doesn’t open until 10 am.  The woman employing me has lived in this area her whole life, and has been interacting with the students on the annual summer mission since she was 11 years old. She is now 35 and still looks forward to our arrival every summer.  I’m blessed to have the opportunity to represent the mission and CRU through this job and get one on one interaction with the tourists every day.

As for housing, I am living in a beach house with the 17 other students.  We are about one block from the beach and very close to some surrounding towns. I share a (very small and cozy) bedroom and a bathroom with one other girl, and I share a kitchen with 4 other girls.  I just want to say that there are no other girls I’d rather go group grocery shopping with (2 full carts yesterday).  I will be assigned to one of the churches in the area to get plugged in with, and through that congregation I will be introduced to a host family who I will get to interact with all summer.  All the students are amazing, and it’s hard to believe it’s only been 48 hours, as we are already functioning as a family.  All the staff here are assigned 2 or 3 students of the same gender to disciple and pour into during their time here.  I am being discipled by a staff woman, Kelly, who is here with her husband Stephen.  I’m also in a bible study, consisting of 5 other girls living in the house.

I will include more details in coming posts, don’t worry.  As always, the main goal here is to pour into the area and really be the body of Christ as we reach out.  I’m excited to learn lots, laugh lots, and love lots this summer, and I can’t thank you enough for investing in me.

Love ya,

SB

Unapologetically... Messy

Hello friends!!

What a few weeks it has been.  Honestly, between everything that has been going on at school, trying to finish the guard season strong, going home for spring break (and partaking on all that entails), and support raising in what little time I have, the days have been flying by.  I've been going through all the basic college student stuff: screwing up my sleep schedule for no legitimate reason, destroying my body when I actually am awake with a bad diet, and procrastinating doing homework to work on other homework in an academic limbo.  I've reached the point in the semester where its hard to feel motivated to do anything, and where my spiritual walk and personal time with Jesus swiftly gets moved to the bottom of my priority list.
This confession of the state of my spiritual life unfortunately isn't accompanied with an emotional tale of my journey to a spiritual high, such as what would be depicted through an inspirational montage in a feel good romantic comedy, right before the new and improved main character wins the guy of her dreams and walks into the sunset (yet).  I say this because this is all part of life, and part of the process of building a team of ministry partners (@ you, blog post reader) is being honest with my struggles and letting you know exactly how to pray for me.
If you know me at all, you know that I have no problem with being brutally honest about myself, even if it doesn't shed the most flattering light on my life, but here's the thing, I'm not made to be perfect.  My life isn't a perfectly aesthetic contemplation of Instagram posts, depicting a life out of dream, nor would I ever want it to be. In a direct comparison, my spiritual life isn't supposed to be picture perfect.  Christianity is hard, and nothing about trying to live a life like the one Jesus called us to live is exactly simple and effortless.  When I got on my knees and offered my everything to the God who created the heavens and Earth, who created me in the palm of his hand, who sent his only Son to suffer on a cross for my salvation, I wasn't doing it because I had it all figured out.  I did it, time after time, because I was a hopeless mess who craved the love of my Savior.
Jesus didn't come to the Earth because he thought it'd be fun. He came to get his hands dirty. The Son of the Living God came down to Earth, filled with dirty sinners, for me and you.
In my opinion, one's walk with the Lord isn't designed to be lonely.  You need a family of believers, holding your hand and keeping you straight on your walk. If you're reading this, you hopefully care about me enough to know whats going on in my life, and pray for me and hold me accountable.  I strive every day to be the best Christian I can, but I also fail every day.  I stumble and stray and sin, no matter what, but you know what? That's okay.  If we were not imperfect humans, Jesus wouldn't have come down to get his hands dirty for us. Thank God for redemption, never ending love, and undeserved forgiveness.
In conclusion, I just need to keep my chin up.  Every day, I'm closer to the summer of my dreams. Every day, I have the opportunity to meet a new, beautiful human on my beautiful campus. Every day I'm presented with an abundance of blessings and ways to be a light unto this Earth.  I get to pray for my future team, and I get to pray for the funding of both my support goal but theirs as well.  I get to pray for the reason I was so called to this exact mission, the reason why God led me to Hampton Beach specifically, and the people he will have me cross paths with on this journey.  I get too pray for all of you, that he blesses all of my wonderful friends, family, brothers and sisters in Christ as they support me on this leap of faith. And I pray for myself, that I work in people, and use his gifts for his glory.  May I never miss an opportunity to pour into someones spirit, connect with another person, or simply radiate joy the way I was made to just because I let the world get my spirit down. I am the daughter of the King. If he is for me, who could be against me?

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works,which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

Humbly, SB 

Baby Steps

Hello friends! As most of you probably know, I have recently been accepted to the CRU (Campus Crusaders for Christ) Summer Mission in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. Since most of you don't really know what that means, I'll explain: CRU is a campus ministry that has a community in Slippery Rock. Through CRU, I have been given a place to make Godly friends, go to weekly meetings, attend conferences, and obviously, go on summer mission trips! For 10 weeks, starting on May 30, I will live in a house with about 30 other college students from across the country and around 15 CRU staff, learning how to effectively conduct outreach and share my faith, all while growing and learning in a Christian community. I will be required to get a part time job, and my weekly schedule will include bible studies, evangelism, serving at local churches, and growing closer with the other participants on the mission. I'm extremely honored to have the opportunity to experience what God has in store for me on this mission.
 
As some of you know, I have been called clearly to the mission field for a few years now, and I'm extremely grateful for the people and experiences that have helped me get to this point. The fact that I will be on a plane flying towards my first missions trip in only 3 short months is something out of a dream. I am forever in awe of the graciousness and love Jesus Christ provides, and how he is looking out for me in more ways than I can fathom. He has placed amazing friends in my life in the past months and years that have led me to him, and continue to strengthen me on my walk.
As you can probably imagine, going on this amazing trip is far from free. Between my housing and transportation to and from New Hampshire, I need to raise around $3,350 in funding. I am extremely excited to face this challenge of raising funds over the next few months, because it provides me with a way to share all of the good works Jesus has been doing in my life. Even more desperately than financial support, I will need lots of spiritual support and prayers. I will be documenting my journey before, during, and after the mission via this blog, so please stay updated on my journey! Prayers mean more than you know to me, and I'm not naive enough to think that everyone reading this has the financial means to donate.
Here is the link to a portal where you can directly contribute to my funds: https://give.cru.org/0927559
Here is a link to a Booster campaign where you can purchase a t-shirt I designed, and part of the proceeds will go towards my funding: https://www.booster.com/sarah-beths-summer-mission-support


I personally have come such a long way in my faith over the past semester, and I'm so incredibly excited to see everything Christ has in store for me in the coming months. I want to personally thank all of you for loving me and supporting through everything, and I want to thank you in advance for your donations, support, and most importantly, your PRAYERS!

God bless, SB